“Do you believe in foresight?” I asked Karen as she sat across from me at the table of a Korean BBQ in Hayward. I had a light feeling, floating inside of me, certain I had already dreamt of this moment. “I believe in a lot of things,” she replied.

As I came to love myself, with the realization of the crucifixion, the weight of my own heart, the significant resonance of stories, the clarity of longing, the loneliness of dwelling; I began to see the universe. Things began to be revealed to me in a way that beckons me to believe is beyond coincidence. The only thing I can call it is foresight. The universe is strong, merciless, and magical. It gives you what you need after it realizes the volume of what has been clanging around against your soul. It opens you up, it holds you in its hands knowing when to shake its hands, drop you and let you fall. It allows you the willpower, and laser beam eyes of knowing thyself.